Tuesday, October 30, 2012


I nearly had a breakdown in barre class this morning. I looked around at all of the beautiful, lean and fit girls (no pun intended) in class. But, then I heard Amy remind us, "Focus on yourselves. It's only about you. Look yourself in the mirror and dig deep inside." I nearly lost it. I don't care how many miles I can run or how healthy I eat-- I'm unhappy with my body. There, I said it! Transparent and clear for the entire world to read. Hating your body isn't sexy. It isn't attractive or becoming and it surely doesn't make you FEEL good. I stood there (with my leg on the barre and my arms extended) and just prayed that maybe things can change this time. I don't want to be overweight (I'm living proof that eating healthy and running does not = a super-skinny body) and I don't want to hate on myself any longer; it's exhausting. I glanced around again at all of girls in the room and knew that I needed to dig just a little bit deeper and stretch just a bit harder if I want to reach my goals--- if I want this time to be different.

At the end of class, Amy said something that made my eyes well up with tears (thank gosh for a dark room). Amy announced to the class, "You ladies did great today. You pushed yourselves so hard. You may have even pushed your neighbor or someone else in the class to work just a bit harder today. You never know the impact that you can have on someone else- so always try your personal best." Whew! Who knew that working out could be so emotional?!

After class, I talked to Amy for a second and she reminded me that if I ever need a modification or have a question to just ask. She said that my form looks great and that I should be proud. She also mentioned that she'd like to take a class with me sometime so that I can see that barre is simply a challenging class. Even after all of these years, it's still an intense workout, even for her.

At any rate, this tired girl is off to relax for the night.

Spinning at 6:15 in the morning. Day 4 on my Fit Girl challenge!

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